Today seemed like too normal, too routine a day to close a chapter of my life. But there you have it in all the drudgery of the morning's final paper to the most bizzare trip to the city and a greedy night of pizza and cheese toast - somewhere in its hustle and bustle my university life slipped away quietly but with a certainty that had not gripped me until this late hour. It seems like ages and ages since I'd last been here but here I am again, with a semester's worth of musings to contrast violently with the preceding trivialty that is Rihanna's hair.

1. I am really fearful that I'll settle down here and never see my family regularly again

2. I am maddeningly developing a Malaysian accent from recent activities

3. This sudden pressure to be extremely thin has crept up on me over the past few weeks. Not just thin. Extremely thin.

4. I hate hate hate the cold. Even more than I hate the sun.

5. I've managed to fix my leaking tap (sort of)!! Instead of dripping almost torrentially at night, it now only does so intermittently.

6. I am so glad all our Siros joined the family. I love each and every one of you, big, small, clothed or au naturale.

7. Where did you go? Why did you do this to me? Do you know what you did to me?  

8. I have made it my business to check out the Breakfast Creek Hotel in search of a decent replica of Nobu's (Melbourne) Miso Kobe fed Wagyu.

9.   I really really really really really really really really really really really really do not appreciate being called "cute". Please no one ever ever ever ever ever ever ever call me cute. Cats are cute, kittens are cute, I am not.

10. The scars have to fade away someday right? There's this seriously strong Kelloid cream that my mom recommended... um if I ever get down to using it! I think i'm scaring people who think i'm self mutilating.

11. The minute hand moves the slowest from 4 to 5 pm. The last lap makes your lungs feel like they're burning. The last TWO KILOS ARE THE HARDEST TO SHED.

12. Where are we all going to be next year? We shall effectively be divided by 3 continents and who'll be the bridesmaids at my wedding!!

13. I love it that I can sleep in and fritter away the rest of my week. I hate it that parole is ending so soon.

14. I'm growing faster than my bones want me to!! It's true! My bones are creaking and grating in discontent and they desist to budge when everything else is galumphing clumsily towards some yet unknown goal.

15. For the number of months that have given greater meaning to life.

So it happened in the slow fumbling manner that a loved one pulls the plug on someone on a respirator. It just kind of wheezed out of life really. The cosmos did not explode and the ground did not tremble. Actually, not a cheer or a whistle erupted even. I just thought I'd just take a note of it for future reference... you know, if I ever forgot what campus freedom felt like or missed halcyon uni days.  

~=au mangues prince albert coulis millefeulle crocqant=~

1. Today was one of those days where every little thing triggered off another bigger things which then snowballed into this giant emotional ball of worry which had already been seeded inside of me for the past 2-3 days. Some might call this PMS-ing, but however the label goes, I am just entirely numb with worry over the outcome of this issue. Because of the sensitive nature of my worries, I just don't know who to tell and who to trust and who to burden with these hairy secrets. It just gnaws and burgeons inside me like this poisonous vapour I sniff all the time and can't get rid of. Seriously seriously. I just want to tell somebody but yet at the same time I'd rather die than do so. WHINGER!!!!

2. Alongside the issue of PMS, I find myself increasingly irritated with ______. Maybe it's just his/her manner or his/her overeagerness to bundle me off to Sydney stamped and tied with ribbon, no return address. But no, actually I do think it's PMS la. I really do.

3. I wish I was more forgetful!!! I would leave a thousand glasses in the airplane seat pockets and forget to tap a zillion ezlink cards as i disembark the buses - if only i were more forgetful! Like a dutifully trained dog of Pavlovian fame, I react to all these memories stored somewhere I want to chuck out of the window. Just instead of dog food, I have a blur of bittersweet. And instead of salivating, I wander around the house dejectedly until something happier arrests my attention. OH SIMPLE THING, WHERE HAVE YOU GONEEEEEE~

5. Sometimes it's all we can ask for, for another person to rescue us from our ick and gloom. Where are you when I need you? Why won't you listen? Can't anybody understand poor old misunderstood me? It feels really cold and empty when you're left alone with your thoughts and scaring yourself silly with an overactive imagination. I know it's selfish and totally shocking to come from me, but meanly and childishly I just scream inside my head - WHY HOW WHO WHEN WHAT WHERE and esp esp WHY! WHy! I was always such an inquisitive young thing.  

4. You rescued me, and picked me up, a living hope, of grace revealed. A life transformed in righteousness, oh Lord you have rescued me. Forgiving me, you healed my heart, and set me free from sin and death. You brought me life, You made me whole, oh Lord you have rescued me.

We've all discovered the key to winning Monopoly. It's all about owning the light blues ... don't know which ones those are in classic monopoly, but it's the pocahontas and snow white row in my Disney set.

What else is newsworthy! Instead of devoting my time to reading horizon-expanding international law newspaper reports and cutting edge environmental issues, I've been baking failed cheesecakes and playing obssessive amounts of Monopoly.

Period time has come again and this month's craving is cheesecake. Not the dense rich creamy kind you find in New York bakeries, but the cottony soft-as-air Japanese kind atop with a thin layer of peach, delicately flavoured with lemon and citrus. The kind youCANNOT FIND IN BRISBANE. So I found a suitably noobish recipe online and in all my zealousness, I remembered to bake the cake in a water bath but I forgot that I had already put eggs into the mix and put in another lot of eggs. The result was EGG CAKE, oh my goodness it tasted like a steamed egg thingumy you eat in japanese restuarants. So at least I got the 'japanese' bit right.

i'm so stpuid. Today I walked all the way in the hot sun to school. The when I got to my classroom, i saw "ENVIRONMENTAL LAW READING WEEK" - omg i JUST saw it on elearning before i left the house. I really don't know what's wrong with me, I feel like i want to masochistically torture myself in the sun. 

Rihanna got nice hair

That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile?

But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

I'm too spaced out to type properly so

1. went to GC with chris to join relatives

2. had alot alot of fun

3. had terrible nightmare last night where experienced terrible blinding flash of rage as part of nightmare

4. felt like crying

5. car banged on way home

6. shopped alot with shumin

7. sushi train

8. lost @ chermside

9. poker

10. stupid

11. ugh

12. car

It was such a terrible terrible nightmare!!! I don't even remember what happened but agh it made my vocabulary fly out the window and as i type i am muttering terrible to myself!!! AND THE LADY WHO BANGED OUR CAR!!! AGHHH i really pray that she is honest and pays for our damage. :( I am seriously sadddddd todayyyyy and oh yah I don't mean to sound bitchy or whatever. Sometimes the people that you are always there for are never there when you need them and the people who you least expect to help you provide the most. Okay sorry for the emoz but i can't help but remember all that times i listennnneeddddd to youuuuuuu on the phoneeeeeeeeeee until the cowwwssssssss come homeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .cross